Crashing
Bianca Lancia
crash
v.
1. to collapse or fail suddenly
Habitual hibernation,
body wearily awakens,
sunken eyes yearn
for ten minutes,
ten hours more,
until feeling has fled and lungs
exhale
again.
Esophagus
circumference
compresses,
mind and body too numb to function
properly, so don’t.
Am I dying?
I’m too young to die.
I must be sick.
2. to collide, especially violently and noisily
Cry out for help,
but no one
can hear me.
Isolated.
I could scream, and no one would know.
3. to break or fall to pieces with noise
Milky luminescence
pours from adjacent window,
drenching body in liquid rays.
Attempted revival, but already
fallen
too deep, drowning in wicked
thoughts.
Eyes fixed on ceiling overhead,
see nothing,
feel nothing.
Body aches, observed from above,
soul departed,
dissociated.
4. to fall asleep
Lifeless, crumbled figure
carefully cocooned between
blankets provide
zero
solace.
Eyes hollow caverns,
paralyzed, breath sparse, demon infested
head from childhood
nightmares.
This time, real.
5. to land in an abnormal manner, usually causing severe damage
The face of the disorder
grins at affliction, says to me,
You knew this was coming, didn’t you?
Darkness always
follows daylight.
I thought you knew, maybe I should have warned you,
Next time.
6. to shut down because of a malfunction of hardware or software
Tells me not to become too
comfortable.
I laugh.
I am anything
but
comfortable.
Just what it wants.
Tell it to leave, doesn’t
listen.
Frantically searching muddled memory for
euphoric joy,
intoxicated lungs,
immortal
sparkle
and shine, refusal
to diminish.
Brain willfully washed
remnants away.
I won’t remember
until it
returns.