the twin nuke tower lights flash on the upbeat of a waltz
ONE two three
ONE two three
BIG little little
GIANT fairy fairy
what gayle taught me when i could barely reach my pink canvas
feet
to the
ground
she reminded me of a toucan and squawked when my first tooth fell out in the studio

it’s three a.m. and the reservation rollie is making me seasick
not to mention the smell of horse shit is mixing with the cabbage harvest
again
last summer, when the air was sulfur and purple
the foreign tourists to photos of birds in the dirt fields
stopped take dipped
we shrieked down the hot road in aiden’s miata with the top down,
me; grace kelly screaming
because he stilled stalled at stop signs

all the pastel farmhouses give us American Goths the evil eye
i will lie
in the middle of this

pavement until i can become
nothing

a turkey,
mouth and eyes
wide open to the weeping sky
but i’m not a bird brain like the girl playing foursquare called me at recess
i know i’m trying

to drown, something
loud splashes in the corrugated culvert

i pull aiden along like a little kid in a zoo
and i’ve just seen the lions up ahead
he says not to be afraid of a man in a pig mask because don’tcha know

you should only worry if the frogs stop croaking

but i skip and sing that we’re off to see the wizard because
i’ll never die on the yellow brick road

dorothy would look so stupid
back
with an arrow in the of skull
her

you know how when you’re cleaning there’s a point where you’re just standing
in the middle of a dirty room wondering how you got there
or how you’ll have a huge loopy knot before the string pulls loose
clicking my heels only gets dirt on the rug
i lie in our bed and think
sometimes things are a lot of mess before they get better